Hi Mackenzie— thank you for such a thoughtful discussion of this topic! I also have a tough relationship with confrontation.
I tend to nurture people to an extreme sounds like you may do this too. One big however: I now ask myself…. If the continuation will not serve me, and the person has repeatedly not been good to me, why am I killing myself to find a way to confront them? Hope to continue our conversation, and have a great day, Mama, M. I hate it as well or disappointing people in any way. I find picking up the phone once you are calm and having a real honest conversation helps. Communication is key and avoiding communication can lead to more anxiety.
Oh man, this is me to a T. That said, it does get somewhat easier with age or time , but your proactive steps are inspiring.
I like the feeling of putting myself first, especially when I feel someone is potentially trying to take advantage of me whether they realize it or not. It lets me hear what I want to say to someone and prepare to say it rather than just thinking things through in my mind. Good for you for speaking up for yourself! Thank you for this post and the good tips. Part of what helped me, which seems dumb and trivial, was to start approaching aspects of my life like Ann would.
It also helps me to literally rehearse ahead of time what I plan to say.
That way I make sure to get out everything I wanted to discuss, and know how it feels to say the words. Keep it up!! Firstly Yay you for recognizing and taking steps! Hi Mackenzie! I would highly recommend it! Good for you! Get this widget. Hope we both get better at this! By the way, I have just discovered you via Instagram. Love your posts! But, as I have already said, the fact that I had the work to challenge me each day turned out in fact to be a blessing. I was also receiving intensive instruction and training from Toda in a number of different subjects.
Sometimes I would find myself being scolded by him with a fury like that of a hundred thunderbolts striking all at once, while at other times he would show me infinite gentleness and patience. I never had the slightest doubt that at heart he had deep faith in me and that behind the scolding was his loving concern and desire to make me into a person of real worth, capable of doing any kind of work.
For this reason, it was a boundless joy to work for him, and I never for a moment thought of giving up. A truly warm human relationship—how much in the way of hope and courage and conviction it is capable of giving! It is not too much to say that, in the end, everything I have today I owe to the fact that I encountered such a great teacher, one who was willing to trust me without question.
To be looked upon as trustworthy and reliable is surely one of the most valuable assets a person can have, regardless of occupation. And for a young person, to be trusted at work is of prime importance. If a young person does not learn to inspire trust in others, failure is almost certain. At present, they say, we are living in an age of irresponsibility. There is a tendency for people not only to disregard but to be completely indifferent to the trust that others put in them.
But so long as human society exists, it is patent that trustworthiness will continue to be of basic importance. Anyone who betrays this trust will become a social outcast, eventually having to taste the bitterness of defeat. Today, one may smugly flaunt an irresponsible manner; in the end, nothing but grief will result. Trust that one has spent ten years in nurturing can be wiped out in an instant by some little slipup in word or action.
Those who work with all their might to carry out their mission will in the end win the trust of those around them. The type of person I most respect is one who, though he or she may be doing a rather inconspicuous, unexciting job, still does it conscientiously, advancing step by step and patiently working toward self-improvement. When I speak of the importance of inspiring trust, I certainly do not mean that one should be constantly choosing the safest course and trying to succeed at all costs.
For a young person, this is a fatal error. Is it not a constant occurrence in the world? And is it not the ladder to great accomplishment? Because of it, we gain a kind of experience that we could never acquire from ten thousand books. Failure is the means by which Heaven bestows happiness upon us. In truth, it is the greatest treasure of life.
To lose heart just because of one or two failures is the height of foolishness. Life is a long, long journey. No matter how wonderful a life you have lived, if in the end you find yourself defeated and unhappy, nothing could be more miserable. It is also necessary for young people to have the fearlessness to recognize their failures as failures and honestly take responsibility for them.
This kind of attitude I find most admirable in young people. For such judgment will serve as the source of future value. The sight of a young person striving to reach the goal he or she has set is one of the most powerful, most refreshing, most beautiful things in the world. Nowhere in the world is there a beauty to match that of a young person who has fought with and overcome hardship. Looking at the world today, it is easy to feel despair. A kind of powerlessness seems to be the prevailing mood. Decisions about important issues all seem to be made somewhere beyond our reach. What can one person accomplish in the face of the vast forces that run our world?
The current of the times can seem so fast-flowing and complex as to be overwhelming. I do not believe that people are powerless. The philosophical tradition that I embrace teaches concerning the most fundamental dimension—that of life itself—that each human life partakes of the limitless life force of the cosmos. The same power that moves the universe exists within our lives. Each individual has immense potential, and a great change in the. Everything begins with us. Each new era begins within.
It is an inward event, With unsuspected possibilities For inner liberation. The term my mentor, Josei Toda, used for this process of inner transformation that also transforms our surroundings was human revolution. And I believe it is the most fundamental, most vital of all revolutions. It can create changes that are more lasting and valuable than political, economic, or technological revolutions.
For no matter how external factors change, the world will never get better as long as people remain selfish and apathetic. An inner change for the better in a single person—one person becoming wiser, stronger, more compassionate—is the essential first turn of the wheel toward realizing peaceful coexistence and fulfillment for the whole human race. I firmly believe that a great human revolution in just one person can be the start of a transformation in the destiny of whole societies and all humankind.
And for the individual, everything starts in the inner reaches of life itself. When we change our inner determination, everything begins to move in a new direction. The moment we make a powerful resolve, every nerve and fiber in our being will immediately orient itself toward the fulfillment of this goal or desire.
Hope, in this sense, is a decision.
It is the most important decision we can make. Hope changes everything, starting with our lives. Hope is the force that enables us to take action to make our dreams come true.
Confrontation: The Struggles We Face Each Day and How to Overcome Them eBook: Vincent M. Azevedo: rapyzure.tk: Kindle Store. Confrontation: The Struggles We Face Each Day and How to Overcome Them: Vincent M Azevedo: Books - rapyzure.tk
It has the power to change winter into summer, barrenness to creativity, agony to joy. As long as we have hope, there is nothing we cannot achieve. When we possess the treasure of hope, we can draw forth our inner potential and strength. A person of hope can always advance. Hope is a flame that we nurture within our hearts. It may be sparked by someone else—by the encouraging words of a friend, relative, or mentor—but it must be fanned and kept burning through our own determination.
Most crucial is our determination to continue to believe in the limitless dignity and possibilities of both ourselves and others. Mahatma Gandhi led the nonviolent struggle for Indian independence from British colonial rule, succeeding against all odds.
Rather, it was based on an unshakable faith in humanity, in the capacity of people for good.