What the Hell Were You Thinking? Good Intentions. Random Dingoes. Continue shopping. Item s unavailable for purchase. Please review your cart. You can remove the unavailable item s now or we'll automatically remove it at Checkout. Remove FREE. Unavailable for purchase. Continue shopping Checkout Continue shopping. Sort By: Bestsellers. Welcome to the Multiverse Sorry for the inconvenience by Ira Nayman series Transdimensional Authority 1 This hilarious science-fiction comedy novel follows the first case for Noomi Rapier, rookie investigator with The Transdimensional Authority - the organisation that regulates travel between dimensions.
When a dead body is found slumped over a modified transdimensional machine, Noomi and her more experienced partner, Crash Chumley, must find the dead man's accomplices and discover what they were Read more 3.
Different worlds… different times. Here, we present twenty science fiction stories for you to enjoy Read more 1. I carry writing utensils with me wherever I go and am prepared to make notes about projects at any time. My friends are used to it. There is something about turning a clever phrase that is very satisfying. I really enjoy wrestling with character and situation and, because I write humour, making it all funny. I made that.
I have two books scheduled to come out in Random Dingoes is the third Transdimensional Authority novel. Noomi and Crash are the main characters as they were in the first book ; they are investigating a drug that is rumoured to make people high by allowing them to see into other universes without using any technology. Things go south when they are thrown out of the universe, sending the narrative in a completely different direction.
I have also just about completed the Antonio Van der Whall cycle of short stories.
Editorial Reviews. About the Author. In his past lives, Ira Nayman was, among other things: a Welcome to the Multiverse (Sorry for the inconvenience) ( Transdimensional Authority Book 1) - Kindle edition by Ira Nayman. Download it once and. Welcome to the Multiverse (Sorry for the inconvenience) (Transdimensional Authority Book 1) eBook: Ira Nayman: rapyzure.tk: Kindle Store.
After I have written the final story, I will write some interstitial material that will hopefully tie things together and answer questions about the world left unaddressed in the stories themselves, then I will look for a publisher for the whole package. So, for now, shhh Visit the Contribute page and see your work published on the blog. Interview by Christel Bodenbender. After self-publishing your first set of stories, what does it mean to you to have been signed on by a publisher the traditional way?
Did the publisher approach you or did you get in touch with them? What is different in the writing and editing process between self-publishing and working with a publishing team? What do you see as the advantages of both? Please tell us more about the latest book and the universe of the Transdimensional Authority? Your stories thrive on humour. What is your source of inspiration for your writing style? Noomi sighed. That was the bathroom mirror's answer to everything. Boyfriend troubles? Angelina Jolie's 27 clones all have perfect relationships with movie stars, sports stars, famous politicians, two ex-astronauts and an unemployed peanut farmer.
War in the Middle East? Send Angelina Jolie's 27 clones to the trouble spot, and they'll have peace breaking out in no time. Not sure you believe in god? Spend some time with any of Angelina Jolie's 27 clones and you'll find the answer you seek.
It had only been a week, and Noomi was already tired of it. Noomi looked at herself in the mirror.
She liked her smooth dark brown skin, the big, brown deceptively compassionate eyes, the way her sharp features radiated strength. Her hair was the sticking point of the deal. It defied physics. It looked like each strand had been placed at a 90 degree angle to every other strand. It wasn't true, of course: if it had been, her hair would have had to exist in several thousand dimensional space. It was, however, one more example of scientific description capturing a poetic truth. Any time, now. Fully lunted. She was famished from her efforts to wrestle her hair into some semblance of normalcy.
Noomi felt like she had just kicked a puppy. A metallic puppy.
That could burn the apartment down with its flames. But, a puppy nonetheless.
Read more 3. If you came to Les Pages aux Folles curious about my writing thanks to science fiction or fan fiction, welcome! Noomi was not anatomically competitive with other women: some of the women had larger boobs than she did, some had smaller. In Random Dingoes, the third Transdimensional Authority novel by Ira Nayman, investigators Noomi Rapier and Crash Chumley look into reports of a drug that allows people to travel between universes without technological assistance. Very few authors would dare it and far fewer publishers would relish in the idea of publishing it. Have fun with it. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
Oh, boy! I'll make you something superspecial for dinner! Uhh, even wider. It was nice to feel wanted, even if it was by a kitchen appliance. Noomi got to Transdimensional Authority headquarters ten minutes before she was supposed to report to the front desk for assignment. She spent most of that time in the atrium, people in crisp black pants and white shirts not unlike those she was wearing, in the sense that they were exactly like the ones she was wearing and colourful vests rushing around her.
It was like watching a kaleidoscope on heavy seas. Or, it would have been, if Noomi had been paying any attention to it; but her attention was riveted on the huge Dimensional Authority coat of arms set in the tiled floor. The coat of arms depicted an eagle morphing into a sheep with a rocket in its talon and Blackberries in its paws. Above the animals were banners that flowed from green to blue to yellow to orange to red. Although they may have had some meaning before they were adopted by the Transdimensional Authority, they now represented the five branches within the organization.
Various plants that only a botanist could love draped themselves around the animals. Noomi had wanted to be a member of the Transdimensional Authority since she was a little girl. Some of her fondest memories were of the family gathered around the hi def computer screen in the wall of the den watching Jack Ryan, Transdimensional Authority Police.
Her first blog was devoted to fan fiction of the series CSI: Multiverse and, when it was cancelled, she played the spin-off computer game endlessly. When she was a little older, she graduated to the Transdimensional Blues series of games. Her favourite reading consisted of the novelizations of the film version of Jack Ryan, Transdimensional Authority Police.
The pleasure she derived from playing with her Jack Ryan action figure made Barbie who, after all, was only a doll - at best, an inaction figure jealous. On Halloween, she went out dressed as a Transdimensional Authority Officer. Okay, frankly, she was a little obsessed. Her parents worried. But, Noomi had gotten a job with the Transdimensional Authority, making her obsession work for her, and all had been forgiven. After checking in at the front desk, Noomi was directed to a large but bland room.
A dozen other people stood to attention in the room. They could have been clones, but she had been at the Alternaut Academy with many of them, and she knew they were not.
What were the odds? Actually, Barbara Brundtland-Govanni, Noomi's mentor at the Alternaut Academy, used to say that the odds of a universe developing the capability of sustaining life were extremely remote, so anything that you could imagine happening in such a universe was almost a certainty!
She loved her mentor, but Noomi sometimes wondered if she spent more time in the spaces between universes than was, strictly speaking, healthy for a person. Noomi realized that none of her confreres literally: criminal brothers from the Alternaut Academy had acknowledged her presence, but, before she could become indignant, a tall, lean man with a clipboard walked into the room. Lee Ermey," the man shouted. Over his crisp white shirt, he was wearing a red vest. He did not seem happy about it. Then, he started bellowing names off the clipboard. Noomi thought of herself as a practical, down-to-earth, fairy tale and global-warming disbelieving kind of gal; she had to be to make it through the male-dominated Alternaut Academy.
Yet, standing in this nondescript room with all of these nondescript men, she found herself If Rod Blagorsopodd, her high school sweetheart, had excited her half as much, she might have married him. But, ahh, let us not spoil her proud moment with such sad memories - reality will do it soon enough.
Noomi stepped forward, and was handed a yellow vest. Noomi looked at the garment with dismay. Sergeant Ermey looked at her like she was something icky that had just adhered to the underside of his ballet slippers. We don't make mistakes. My investigative skills were praised by every instructor I had! I have a letter of recommendation from Barbara Brundtland-Govanni that all but demands that I be given a knighthood! Or, at least, a Nebula Award! Once the investiture ceremony had been completed, Noomi dejectedly went to the elevator and made her way to the seventh floor.
As the doors opened, she was met by a brassy, sassy middle-aged redhead. Her hair was so red, it attracted bulls from miles around. It was so red, motorists half a dozen blocks away stopped in the middle of the street although they had no idea why. It was so red, bees tried to pollinate it and were devastated when they could not - perhaps that's why they were disappearing.
The redness of the woman's hair was a big hello to the world that sometimes left the woman breathless trying to keep up. You'll be working under me. We'll be working together. Of course, when decisions have to be made, I'll be the one to make them - lord knows, everything would grind to a halt if we had to find consensus on every little matter. But, just because I'll be making decisions, I don't want you to think of me as your boss.
Think of me as Here we are