We give credence to our most negative thoughts and let them dictate the direction of our lives as well as our general attitude to the people and the opportunities around us. In essence, we doom ourselves to professional and personal failure by accessing only a narrow part of ourselves rather than the wonderful whole. Fashade believes that in escaping the painful and destructive cycle of blame, analysis and judgment, in which many of us can be trapped, we will all be able to channel the positivity generated from moving away from emotions such as hate, jealousy, anger and bitterness which are ultimately counterproductive if not utterly futile.
Be Surprised: Own Your Courage and Self-Trust is fundamentally about learning the tools to help build your backbone, not your wishbone and is based on Fashade's fifteen years of experience as a Life Coach. During this time Fashade has developed his own, unique methods of improving his clients' self-esteem, their drive and their attitude to life, setting them on a healthier and more fulfilling path by encouraging them to accept their responsibility to follow their own guides across life's challenging terrain. Fashade has tremendous faith in people - they are his passion - and his overwhelming desire with Be Surprised: Own Your Courage and Self-Trust is to help others overcome the psychological and emotional obstacles and the poor learned behaviour preventing them from moving forward in positive action in their lives.
He advocates isolating and mastering the skills that people have within themselves to cultivate a more positive, assertive mindset, choosing to negate the negative at all times. What is at the center of my motivation for serving another? Is it truly to serve them or to inflate my emotional desire of being needed? It must come from a inner desire and willingness to be self-accountable.
This is the difference between empowering someone and creating dependence and where REAL growth happens. By creating this space we catalyze self-realization in others and in ourselves. I will admit this has been a powerful lesson for me as a self-empowerment coach. Earlier in my career— I realized I still had some unconscious patterns that need to be shifted if I were truly to support the empowerment of others.
I learned that we are unable to empower other people. True self-empowerment come from within. We can create the space and intention, however it must come from within the individual. I realized creating dependence stems from toxic patterns of being disconnected to our true nature and value and the emotional high of feeling needed. True empowerment is letting go and letting others have their own experience even if it means allowing others to be uncomfortable in their own circumstance.
You will know that it is coming from a place of dis-empowerment and you can make the internal shift into LOVE and detachment or ASK for support around it. This can stir up deep abandonment issues for most people. So pay attention when this is active for you. It can make or break the foundation of any relationship. It is also amazing to me how many prospective clients and students I encounter who want to give me their power and responsibility for their experience.
They want someone to tell them what to do—to give them the answers—and often they get angry when I refrain from doing so or hold them accountable to their experience. As a coach and facilitator it is crucial that the clients I collaborate with are willing to be self-accountable their circumstances and their vision.
If I offer too much assistance then they will become dependent —often blaming others or me for their life. However doing it for others will always stunt growth all the way around. I find this super effective. I want to hear from you about your journey within freedom and dependence. I know that I have experienced both sides of the equation. Please make a comment or email me. I would love to hear from you!
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Here are some tips that can support you in your own courage to live your life to the fullest: Know yourself.
If you know who you are and what you want rather than what other people want for you… then it is easier to be congruent with your choices. Grow your self-confidence. Self confidence is related to 1. Take risks.
Whether it is a radical new color in a painting, a travel adventure without a set plan or a new program idea…this is how I have learned to trust myself. I love to be out of my comfort zone in new cultures, environments, creative mediums and experiences. It mixes up my everyday perspective, habits and routine up a bit and allows the genius of our imagination and spontaneous expression to kick-in and work its magic. One that is bigger than our little minds can conceive.
This builds the foundation for the next opportunity…and the next one…and the next and pretty soon we have created something pretty incredible, including a deeper trust in ourselves. Listen to your intuition and act on it. We all have this magical guidance system within, a B-Line to the great cosmic source of the Universe.
Only what you do. Courageous people put their money where their mouth is. People with courage possess ten shared characteristics. Leave a Comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. We are unable to deliver faster than stated.
When we create focus and attention toward our gut feelings, hunches and inner knowing we create a relationship with this aspect of ourselves that can tap into a greater intelligence that can guide us out of the trickiest situations and into a life of our dreams. Take full responsibility for your current reality. Coming from a victim mentality does not support trusting yourself.
Editorial Reviews. About the Author. Paul Fashade works in the field of personal development and mind therapy and has over 15 years experience of working. How do you get familiar and comfortable with trusting yourself so you doubt less or better, not at all? How do you get the courage to do what you genuinely prefer .