Seller Inventory FW Book Description Paperback. They come in many shapes: loving a man or a woman who will not commit to us, being heartbroken when we're abandoned by a l. Shipping may be from multiple locations in the US or from the UK, depending on stock availability.
Seller Inventory BZV Book Description Polity Press. New copy - Usually dispatched within 2 working days. Seller Inventory B Eva Illouz. Publisher: Polity , This specific ISBN edition is currently not available. View all copies of this ISBN edition:. Synopsis About this title Few of us have been spared the agonies of intimate relationships.
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Published by Polity New Paperback Quantity Available: 1. Seller Rating:. Why Love Hurts Eva Illouz. New Quantity Available: 5. Illouz includes a number of fascinating interviews with men and some women.
Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation [Eva Illouz] on rapyzure.tk *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Few of us have been spared the agonies of. Eva Illouz's new book on the sociology of contemporary relationships is not simply a feminist text that laments the plight of women. Jacqui Gabb.
One man, Daniel, describes feeling "raped" by a pet name given to him by a girlfriend, stating, "I told her immediately that I could not stand being called this way. I told her I could not be with her" Illouz uses Daniel's narrative to exemplify the ease with which men can leave and change partners, given the wide field of choice available to them. According to Illouz, the backlash to this lack of gender equality in sexual markets has resulted in women then attempting to create a sense of scarcity, becoming sexually unrestrained to imitate men in order to even the playing field.
According to Illouz, the backlash to this lack of gender equality in sexual markets has resulted in women then attempting to create a sense of scarcity, becoming sexually unrestrained to imitate men in order to even the playing field. Against our will: Men, women, and rape. It does, however, suggest that some of the claims being made would benefit from being tempered and, the seamlessness of the joins unpicked to include the frayed edges of complex experience which characterises lived lives. Send to Kindle. For Illouz this implies that the modern experience of love can only be adequately explained by sociology. Try Blinkist for free for 7 days. Instead, she argues, the social expectation today is that our pairing choices will be made strictly according to the dictates of our heart, free from any external constraints.
Whereas in the nineteenth century men were expected to court and to be forthcoming with their emotions, men today--despite being the greatest beneficiaries of marriage in terms of domestic labor--are expected to have commitment issues Illouz seeks to sidestep the dominant explanations for this transformation, as offered by evolutionary, psychological, and feminist perspectives, which she argues pathologize men's behavior.
Instead she argues that norms of masculinity have shifted, such that men do not gain power via control of the family largely a female responsibility now , but rather, through their sexuality. Whereas women seek a male partner in order to marry, Illouz indicates that men seek many sexual partners, which creates an imbalance between the sexes. For Illouz, this asymmetricality is not a result of inherent traits, but rather of the social-material conditions whereby women are expected to agonize over their "biological clock," while men are free to re-partner throughout their lives.
Men, it seems, keep searching There is also an imbalance in recognition in love. Fewer men willing to commit means that those who do are in high demand, and thus can expect to be desired. Women, however, demand commitment, in order to secure the desire that is in short supply for them In this fraught and uneven sexual field, psychological perspectives have emphasized introspection as the key to healing and avoiding love's harms.
Yet, Illouz argues, this emphasis simply contributes to greater pain, as the self is inevitably socially constituted and thus fuzzy, and that gathering too much information before embarking on a choice merely complicates the choosing process This situation creates a new kind of false consciousness, where one takes on a burden of self-blame for failure in love, which is dictated not by the individual but by wider social dynamics.
Illouz also argues that in the modern world there has been a turn away from beauty toward an emphasis on sexiness. Along with consumer culture's and psychology's focus on sexuality, Illouz contends that feminism has contributed in no small part to this attention to sexiness, by advocating for sexual liberation.
Inadvertently, sexiness, or "erotic capital" 56 , has become a way to move vertically through social rankings. Here beauty and sexiness are seen as only "loosely" 54 connected with class, facilitating some social mobility across class groups. This focus on beauty and sexiness has resulted in a new kind of economy of desire, such that "desire takes on the properties of economic exchange" Illouz carefully distances herself from what she identifies as historical feminist approaches to love.
Illouz argues that feminist perspectives too often presume that power differentials between men and women under patriarchy are the best way to understand love.
Yet, she argues, looking to patriarchy fails to fully explain the phenomenon of love and both women's and men's attachments to romantic ideals. Expectations, particularly as raised in popular culture, play a key role in creating disappointment, and thus suffering in love Illouz states that in this work she puts aside her "obvious allegiance to feminism" In doing so, she echoes the work of queer theorist Janet Halley, who argues for "taking a break" from feminism, to ascertain its costs and benefits Halley Like Halley, Illouz emphasizes the unintended costs inflicted by feminist approaches, which have often seen love in terms of problems of power and women's subordination She argues that the framework of feminism has emphasized the paradigm of equality, to love's detriment, arguing that in the history of love relations, an imbalance of power across genders has been of key importance to passion The feminist emphasis on equivalence has eliminated the spontaneity of love past, where marriage pairings were based on little information aside from pragmatic interests Feminism has emerged as a rationalizing force, along with scientific paradigms and technologies of choice such as dating websites and apps.
According to this view, the demand for political correctness tends to "flatten body surfaces" The problem here, Illouz suggests, is that there is a demand to eliminate the exciting dynamics of asymmetry in love, but the fundamental system of gender inequality remains intact Despite claiming to offer a "sociological explanation," Illouz weaves among discussions of sociological, philosophical, and multiple other theories.
For example, Illouz challenges Plato's understanding of the commensurability of love and reason, suggesting that the rationalization of love in the modern era has interrupted the ability to experience passion For the most part Illouz's interdisciplinary approach works, and makes for vibrant and interesting reading, as the content shifts among different paradigms, texts, and other sources. Please create a new list with a new name; move some items to a new or existing list; or delete some items.
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