Hi again. I've gotten some sleep a little of it in class, I'm afraid , and I'm glad there were some constructive criticisms of my post. Lord knows it needs it. I forgot to provide Scripture before, and I will do so now.
Maharg , thanks for the thoughtful reply. I will try to satisfy the issues you've brought up. That's a good point. One thing I am not trying to say is that any type of discipline guarantees "Biblically-promised" results.
My parents spanked, but they did a pretty poor job of it, and I tend towards some bad habits as a result. Note: this is no excuse to disobey God. And I think that nobody should spank anybody if they let anger creep into it, or if they are in any way aroused by it sadly, this is becoming more and more common , and so on. I tried to present spanking as one of many options, because we're all unique and we're all sinners and nothing except salvation is appropriate for everyone. Like just about everything else on earth, our minds and the methods behind them are gifts from God.
Things like conditioning are tools to help us, or they can hurt us if we or others around us make wrong choices. Someone else in this thread said that psychological conditioning sounds cold, but it really isn't. It's how we're able to read our Bibles and pray when we don't really feel like it and do so many other mundane things in life when they're out of season. Physical conditioning works in a caring, supportive relationship. Armies feed, clothe, and arm its soldiers and provide them with a very strong sense of belonging and best friends for the rest of their life. Within that structure, punishments are understood to be a good thing -- it makes the soldier stronger and less likely to make mistakes in the future.
Without rigourous discipline, armies fall apart because the individual soldiers haven't experienced the "trial by fire" that melds them into a cohesive fighting unit. It's a good thing marriages aren't that intense!
I hope that explains what I was trying to say a little better. If you still think punishments aren't useful for adults, I'll let the point go. It's the sort of thing people write books on, and I don't have the mind or the time to do that here. Sorry, the corporate example was poor. I imagined an employee who habitually did poorly versus one who performed his work well, not a direct competition. Hopefully, my point still stands without it.
And you're right, those are secular examples, but the principle is the same -- for some, the actions of others are a great help in doing things better. It's important to remember that discipline comes in many, many forms. Whether it's also classified as "punishment" depends on what the goal of the discipline is. I eat poorly and I really benefit when people have control over the meals I eat.
Are they taking disciplinary actions? Yes Am I being punished when I am served broccoli, even though I really don't care for it? Contrast this with someone who constantly finds ways to buy junk food on the side when they shouldn't.
Giving them broccoli to make up for the bad food won't work, but some punishment might. Great question. Others have mentioned marriages where the wife is very young, but I don't know. It seems like it would only be applicable in a marriage where the wife recognizes the ability of her husband to help her. Otherwise, she will understandably feel abused. Again, it's tough to get a good feel for this in America.
Most DD practitioners punish for relatively trivial things, probably because they enjoy it somewhat. And truthfully, most Christian wives will not benefit from spanking because they're taught that it's invariably abuse and completely harmful.
I guess I can only identify when it's a problem. I know a few people who, as far as I can tell, practice true, loving DD to great benefit, but I don't think describing one or two unique relationships will help much. Did that answer your questions at all? I think this one's already been answered. Please let me know if it isn't after reading the other four and the Scriptures at the top. I am not married and I don't practice DD. I'm only I don't have much experience defending it, either, and I'm not even sure what my "official" position is yet.
Right now, I think I would be prepared to practice it in marriage, but I am doing my best to avoid that by dating a wonderful, wonderful Christian girl that could teach me a few lessons about structure, if anything. Don't get me wrong -- nobody wants to punish someone they love. Properly executed, Domestic Discipline is a duty. It's not fun and it hurts the husband too, just like parents feel hurt when they have to punish their children.
Husbands who find themselves wanting to spank their wives are probably on thin ice and should not do it. This is something I'm still not sure about. The Bible seems to balance authority positions on earth by asking more of those in that position. So the husband, because he has authority over his wife and children, is liable for both himself and his family.
Marriages are partnerships, so the wife is responsible for the influence she has with her husband, but I really don't know about a chiastic? Pastors often have the same problem, but in their case, they voluntarily enter their vocation and should know before they start if they have the character to discipline themselves. Am I saying that men shouldn't marry until they have the character to discipline themselves?
I really don't know. However, I do not think my ignorance here has to invalidate the rest of my argument. This is essential. Identify each web page that allegedly contains infringing material. This requires you to provide the URL for each allegedly infringing result, document or item. I have a good faith belief that use of the copyrighted materials described above as allegedly infringing is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law.
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Couple Time; Christian Domestic Discipline - Kindle edition by Rebeckah Markham. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. For the LDD couple spanking to tears is a must, to help humble and contrite her and allows her to feel truly disciplined. When spanking it is not necessary to use.
This is a collection of three stories about relationships that feature Christian Domestic Discipline. In "Grown-Ups" Katie's husband teaches her that being a camp counselor means being in a position of authority and that if you act like one of your campers, that's how you'll be treated. In "Retreat" Charity and Tom save their struggling marriage by learning about traditional Christian relationships. There are so many genuinely nice people there, there is a lot of great information. A handful make it too stuffy for me.
I don't know. Just made me reevaluate things. Great post though. It is good to see all aspects. Ttwd is not one size fits all. You're so right, DD isn't one size fits all. Sorry you went through the difficulty of feeling judged while just simply looking for information. You will never be judged here, we are an open minded collection of people from all over the world who seek out commonalities not differences : Glad you found us. This is a great post, and it was one of the first sites I visited when researching a DD relationship.
There is not one size fits all in this lifestyle, and I think that's the beauty of it all, each couple owns their own dynamic. I thinkt the group gets uptight far too often! I couldn't handle all the bickering going on there HI Kady!
I like the statement "each couple owns their own dynamic" There are so many wonderful people who follow a style of DD. Because the people, readership and members "own" ADDS, we've been able to avert all of that so far and I believe our welcoming nature will help keep it that way.
I know many people who follow a CDD style of DD that are wonderful and open minded, and I also know some who have a much more narrow view. A CDD Description. We feel it's important to share a degree view of the Domestic Discipline lifestyle choice. I have a lot of respect for those who follow the ideas of Christian Domestic Discipline.
As the general DD community understands, each is correct within their own home. Most of those original discussion groups were based on each owners version of a CDD lifestyle marriage. They were based on a male led biblically based household and only considered others who agreed with them and were married as a part of their group. Over the years, Domestic Discipline ideas have become open to the individual single, dating and married person choosing their own path and how they identify.
That's not to say that there wasn't this style of relationship before then, but it had been called many different and regional names. In no way is this the only CDD description available online, but this one seems to be one that has been around a long time and is shared in many places. It seems like the site isn't updated any longer and the links are outdated and broken. So in ADDS style, here it is with no changes of any kind including spelling errors etc A Domestic Discipline DD marriage is one in which one partner is given authority over the other, and has the means to back up that authority, usually by spanking.
The application and practise of DD in each marriage is as unique as the individuals who make up that marriage. What works well for one DD couple may not be a good fit for another marriage. Therefore, you may see many different suggestions espoused on this site and elsewhere.
It is set up according to Biblical standards. Therefore, in a CDD marriage:. He has the ultimate authority in his household, but this authority is tempered with the knowledge that he will answer to God for his actions and decisions.